Only Murders in the Building: Best Quotes from Seasons 1 & 2

Building Kills only is an Emmy-nominated mystery-comedy series from Hulu, created by John Hoffman and Steve Martin. Martin is joined by Selena Gomez and Martin Short, with a supporting cast including Amy Ryan and Cara Delevingne. Most of the story takes place in the titular apartment building, Arconia, located in the heart of New York City. Naturally, this setting brings together a diverse medley of characters, including some familiar faces (Sting of The Police in season 1, and comedian Amy Schumer in season 2).

The three main characters are Martin’s Charles-Haden Savage, a former TV actor, Gomez’s Mabel Mora, a young woman with many unresolved traumas, and Short’s Oliver Putnam, a struggling theater director. When a fire alarm goes off, the residents of Arconia evacuate the building and this unlikely trio ends up bonding over their shared love of true crime podcasts. However, when they return to Arconia, they realize they may be involved in a disturbing crime case of their own. They decide to start their own podcast, and after some bickering, they decide to call it ‘Just Murders in the Building’. To their surprise, they end up having to cover up some murders, though they are limited to those in their building. In addition to the thrilling mysteries that unfold throughout the episodes, the central trio’s banter is one of the show’s most endearing elements. Here are some of the best quotes from the first two seasons of Building Kills only.

Oliver: You score a murder mystery, not DJ a hobbit wedding.
Charles: Concertina can be very annoying. It delivers.
Oliver: Yes, well, it takes me back to 1800s Ireland. I feel like I’m in the middle of a Potato Famine.

Charles: Every true crime story is true for someone.
Oliver: And this is it just is happening to you?
Charles: I feel like it’s personal now.
Oliver: It already felt personal to me ’cause of Winnie.
Charles: Who is Winnie?
Oliver: ‘Who’ – are you kidding me?! My dog, Winnie, who is recovering from poisoning. The fact that you have completely forgotten about him worries me greatly.

Leonora: Why do I know your voice?
Charles: Ah, I’m an actor. I was on that show, Brazos.
Leonora: Yes, they have that in my assisted living. It’s a great show to have in the background when you’re dying.

Oliver: Ooh, did the pregnant protégé make a pernicious power play? Wow, I’m on fire!

Oliver: You know, when I was a kid and I was in the bathroom too long, my grammy would knock on the door and say, ‘Oliver, do you want me to go in there and put Vaseline on your rectum?’

Oliver: Okay, kids, rush hour is approaching, and the tunnel will be as full as Orson Welles’ colon.

marv: There’s nothing like a crisis to bring New Yorkers together.

Mabel: So that’s all? Would you rather tell a funny story than a true story?
Oliver: See, we won’t do that. I mean, we have, but we try not to.

Williams: Do you understand the definition of perjury?
Oliver: I know what perjury is. I made a production of 12 Angry Men sometimes But for women. 12 Angry Women. One of the sisters from Hamilton is in it. It was years ago Hamilton. I know what perjury is… I don’t want it.

Oliver: I’m so Greek I’m Jennifer Aniston’s stand-in. I’m so Greek I could go broke and no one in the world would help me.

Charles: How can we make Cinda crumble and collapse like a … collapsed cave?

Charles: You should know things that are annoying [Cinda]which may make him feel vulnerable.
Poppy: … Human error, interruption, people working for him but he doesn’t look like him.
Mabel: Yes, we noticed that.
Poppy: … He doesn’t like the inside of a tomato… Oh! Oh, this one is weird.
Charles: Tomato is normal?
Poppy: He was terrified of slow-motion.
Oliver: … So he is a true psychopath?